A Hindu Wedding,,,

Hindu marriages are basically of 8 types.

• Rite of Brahmana (Brahma) - where the father of the bride invites a man learned in the Vedas and a good conduct, and gives his daughter in marriage to him after decking her with jewels and costly garments. 
• Rite of the Gods (Daiva) - where the daughter is groomed with ornaments and given to a priest who duly officiates at a sacrifice during the course of its performance of this rite.
• Rite of the Rishis (Arsha) - when the father gives away his daughter after receiving a cow and a bull from the brightgroom.
• Rite of the Prajapati - (Prajapatya) where the father gives away his daugher after blessing the couple with the text "May both of you perform together your duties" (the one which is popularly practiced these days.)
• Rite of the Asuras (Demons) - when the bridegroom receives a maiden after bestowing wealth to the kinsmen and to the bride according to his own will.
• Rite of the Gandharva - the voluntary union of a maiden and her lover, which arises from desire and sexual intercourse for its purpose.(this too...)
• Rite of the Rakshasa - forcible abduction of a maiden from her home after her kinsmen have been slain or wounded and their houses broken open.
• Rite of the Pisaka - when a man by stealth seduces a girl who is sleeping or intoxicated or is mentally disbalanced or handicapped.

The 7 vows of a human wedding.

{ First phera / first vow } - Pray to the Gods for pure and nourishing food and prosperity.

{ Second phera / second vow } - the couple appeals to the gods to give them the mental, physical and spiritual strength to lead a healthy life.

{ Third phera / third vow } - Pray for preservation of wealth and prosperity in life.

{ Fourth phera / fourth vow } - The couple invokes the gods for joy and peace by mutual love and trust in all walks of life.

The Groom says

"om mayo bhavyas jaradastaya ha"

My beloved, it is a blessing that you have walked four steps with me. You're presence in my life has made it sacred and auspicious. May we be blessed with obedient and noble children and may they live long!?

The Bride says

"lalayami cha pade vadet"

My lord, I will enrich myself from head to toe with sandalwood paste and fragrance for you. I will serve you and please you in every possible way that I can.

{ Fifth round / fifth vow } - the couple appeals to the lords for the welfare of all living beings in this world and wish for virtuous, noble and heroic children.

{ Sixth round / sixth vow } - the couple asks the gods to give them a blissful life together.

{ Seventh phera / seventh vow } - The couple prays for mutual understanding, loyalty and companionship.

The Groom says

"om sakhi jaradastayahga"

My beloved, as you have walked the seven steps with me, our love and friendship is now eternal. We have attained a spiritual union blessed by god. Now you are one with me and I offer my life to you. Our marriage will be forever.

The Bride says

"attramshe sakshino vadet pade"

My lord, as per the laws of God and the sanctity of the holy scriptures, I am your wife now. Whatever promises we made, were made with a pure mind. We will be truthful to each other in all matters and We will love each other forever.

The fourth and the seventh vows are the most important and the toughest to follow. Couples these days are so materialistc that they forget the importance of these vows. In many cases, they dont live by these vows at all. I pray all such couples get back to normal and lead a blissful life together.

'Unconditional' Love...

“I’m not in this world to live up to your expectations and you’re not in this world to live up to mine.” 
― Bruce Lee

The Webster Dictionary defines the word 'Unconditional' as not conditioned or limited. And the term 'Unconditional Love' means to love someone regardless of any actions or beliefs. 

"Mother's  love" best describes this form of love as it is boundless and unchanging.

This form of love is selfless, with no thought of benefit for oneself. The 'give-and-take' policy does not apply here. Most  importantly, there are no 'expectations' from the receiver. 

Earlier I was a staunch believer in Conditional Love. I used to believe that one should give out as much as one receives. Loving in breaks and gasps, so that one would never run out of the 'love-stock'. But I was wrong. Conditional Love is a little painful. It leads to taking things for granted and too much of hurtful possessiveness. Expectations and assumptions always create chaos. 

Loving someone 'freely' is unconditional love. Now on, it is my life's mantra. No matter what I get or don't , no matter what has happened or will happen or won't, I will love unconditionally. 

Keep loving... but unconditionally.

A story...

Came across this story on the Internet. Don't know if its true or such things happen for real, but it is a good read.

My husband is an Engineer by profession, I love him for his steady nature, and I love the warm feeling when I lean against his broad shoulders.

Two years into marriage, I would have
to admit, that I am getting tired of it. The reasons of me loving him before, has now transformed into the cause of all my restlessness.

I am a sentimental woman and extremely sensitive when it comes to a relationship and my feelings, I yearn for the romantic moments, like a little girl yearning for candy. My husband, is my complete opposite, his lack of sensitivity, and the inability of bringing romantic moments into our marriage has disheartened me about love.

One day, I finally decided to tell him my decision, that I wanted a divorce.

“Why?” he asked, shocked. “I am tired, there are no reasons for everything in the world!” I answered. He kept silent the whole night, seems to be in deep thought with a lighted cigarette at all times. My feeling of disappointment only increased, here was a man who can’t even express his predicament, what else can I hope from him? And finally he asked me:” What can I do to change your mind?”

Somebody said it right, it’s hard to change a person’s personality, and I guess, I have started losing faith in him. Looking deep into his eyes I slowly answered : “Here is the question, if you can answer and convince my heart, I will change my mind, Let’s say, I want a flower located on the face of a mountain cliff, and we both are sure that picking the flower will cause your death, will you do it for me?” He said :” I will give you your answer tomorrow….” My hopes just sank by listening to his response.

I woke up the next morning to find him gone, and saw a piece of paper with his scratchy handwriting, underneath a milk glass, on the dining table near the front door, that goes…. My dear, “I would not pick that flower for you, but please allow me to explain the reasons further..” This first line was already breaking my heart. I continued reading.

“When you use the computer you always mess up the Software programs, and you cry in front of the screen, I have to save my fingers so that I can help to restore the programs. You always leave the house keys behind, thus I have to save my legs to rush home to open the door for you. You love travelling but always lose your way in a new city, I have to save my eyes to show you the way. You always have the cramps whenever your “good friend” approaches every month, I have to save my palms so that I can calm the cramps in your tummy.

You like to stay indoors, and I worry that you will be infected by infantile autism. I have to save my mouth to tell you jokes and stories to cure your boredom. You always stare at the computer, and that will do nothing good for your eyes, I have to save my eyes so that when we grow old, I can help to clip your nails, and help to remove those annoying white hairs. So I can also hold your hand while strolling down the beach, as you enjoy the sunshine and the beautiful sand… and tell you the colour of flowers, just like the colour of the glow on your young face… Thus, my dear, unless I am sure that there is someone who loves you more than I do… I could not pick that flower yet, and die.. ”

My tears fell on the letter, and blurred the ink of his handwriting… and as I continue on reading… “Now, that you have finished reading my answer, if you are satisfied, please open the front door for I am standing outside bringing your favourite bread and fresh milk… I rush to pull open the door, and saw his anxious face, clutching tightly with his hands, the milk bottle and loaf of bread….

Now I am very sure that no one will ever love me as much as he does, and I have decided to leave the flower alone…

That’s life, and love. When one is surrounded by love, the feeling of excitement fades away, and one tends to ignore the true love that lies in between the peace and dullness.

Love shows up in all forms, even very small and cheeky forms, it has never been a model, it could be the most dull and boring form... flowers, and romantic moments are only used and appear on the surface of the relationship. Under all this, the pillar of true love stands… and that’s our life… Love, not words win arguments.